When I first started my career as a professional mobile DJ, many of my clients would ask me for help with finding a song for their first dance. It wasn’t always easy, as we didn’t have the benefits of the internet in the early 1990s and unique songs weren’t as easy to track down. As a result, many couples ended up choosing the same handful of familiar songs. Fortunately, times have changed.
The good news is that fewer clients ask for help with finding a first dance song, because they already have a song that’s meaningful to them. However, when couples have more than one song and need help narrowing down their possibilities, I’m happy to assist. This is what I suggest:
- Check the length of each song that you’re considering. Although I never want to rush any couple through a first dance, the truth is that 5 minutes in the center of the dance floor with all of your guests’ eyes on you will feel like a very long time. Â
- Consider the tempo of the songs you like - some songs might be just a touch too fast, and you won’t know it until you try dancing to them. A practice run across the living room can sometimes be a big help, because you’ll both figure out exactly what speed feels right. If a song is too fast and you’re struggling to keep pace, move on to something else. Likewise, if a song is too slow and you’re having trouble finding your rhythm, you might want to try a different selection.
- Avoid songs that are sung entirely from the man or woman’s perspective. For example, “She’s Got A Way” by Billy Joel and Celine Dion’s “The Power Of Love” are both terrific songs, but they only convey the feelings of one person and not the feelings that are shared by two people. The first dance, just like the wedding itself, is about you as a couple. The song you choose should be, too.
- Don’t trust every “First Dance Wedding Songs” list that you see online. I was checking out a well-known wedding site earlier today and couldn’t believe some of their suggestions: “Always On My Mind”? “I’ll Be There”? “Against All Odds”? “My Heart Will Go On”?   Listen to any of those songs and you’ll discover that although they’re slow and sung by well-known artists, they’re really not appropriate for a just-married couple.
- Most importantly, make the song yours. If the song that you’re considering is one that you first heard when your cousin danced to it at her wedding last year, keep searching. Also, don’t be afraid to be unique - some of the greatest wedding songs I’ve heard were not familiar pop hits, but they suited the couple that selected them perfectly.
Julie and I had a small list of songs we were considering when we were planning our wedding last year - everything from “Love Of A Lifetime” by Firehouse to “The Luckiest” by Ben Folds. In the end, we opted for a song that even Julie hadn’t heard of until I came up with it: “Standing Right Next To Me” by Karla Bonoff. The lyrics fit our relationship perfectly, and even though most people hadn’t ever heard of Karla Bonoff, they loved our song.